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My Favorite Quotes

Hits 1 to 25 of 1690
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “but a combination of the stone wall, the political parasite and the moral instructor is no garden of sweets.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “ADMONITION, n. Gentle reproof, as with a meat-axe. Friendly warning.Consigned by way of admonition, His soul forever to perdition. --Judibras”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was itself a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was actually, therefore, a one-quarter eagle, which is two dollars and fifty cents in gold. The study of zoology is full of surprises.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “ADAMANT, n. A mineral frequently found beneath a corset. Soluble in solicitate of gold.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “MORAL, adj. Conforming to a local and mutable standard of right. Having the quality of general expediency.It is sayd there be a raunge of mountaynes in the Easte, on one syde of the which certayn conducts are immorall, yet on the other syde they are holden in good esteeme wherebye the mountayneer is much conveenyenced, for it is given to him to goe downe eyther way and act as it shall suite his moode, withouten offence. --Gooke's Meditations”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “ANOINT, v.t. To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.As sovereigns are anointed by the priesthood, So pigs to lead the populace are greased good. --Judibras”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “CUI BONO Latin What good would that do me”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “Washingtonian, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage of good government. In justice, to him it should be said that he did not want to.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “Historian. A broad - gauge gossip.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “Pitted against hard drinking Christians the abstemious Mahometans go down like grass before the scythe”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “HOUSE, n. A hollow edifice erected for the habitation of man, rat, mouse, beelte, cockroach, fly, mosquito, flea, bacillus and microbe. House of Correction, a place of reward for political and personal service, and for the detention of offenders and appropriations. House of God, a building with a steeple and a mortgage on it. House-dog, a pestilent beast kept on domestic premises to insult persons passing by and appal the hardy visitor. House-maid, a youngerly person of the opposing sex employed to be variously disagreeable and ingeniously unclean in the station in which it has pleased God to place her.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “BRUTE, n. See HUSBAND.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “Politeness is the most acceptable hypocrisy”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines. Malthus believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done by talking. One of the most practical exponents of the Malthusian idea was Herod of Judea, though all the famous soldiers have been of the same way of thinking.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “ETHNOLOGY, n. The science that treats of the various tribes of Man, as robbers, thieves, swindlers, dunces, lunatics, idiots and ethnologists.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “ABSENTEE, n. A person with an income who has had the forethought to remove himself from the sphere of exaction.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “PIG, n. An animal (Porcus omnivorus) closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “INFLUENCE, n. In politics, a visionary quo given in exchange for a substantial quid.”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoldering one”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “Impiety, n. Your irreverence toward my deity”
 Ambrose Gwinett Bierce - “MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.”

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