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My Favorite Quotes

Hits 101 to 125 of 147
 George Carlin - “You know an odd feeling Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar”
 George Carlin - “You know an odd feeling Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar”
 George Carlin - “People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.”
 George Carlin - “People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think”
 George Carlin - “The caterpillar does all the work but the butterfly gets all the publicity”
 George Carlin - “I'm having fun because I don't take it (life) seriously - the only things I care about are my family, friends, work and my lady, Sally. Philosophers for a long time have said 'why are we here' - I'm here for the entertainment. If you're born in the world, you're given a ticket to the freak show if you're born in America, you get a front row seat.”
 George Carlin - “When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.”
 George Carlin - “If youre reading it in a book, folks, it aint self-help. Its help.”
 George Carlin - “Rich White Men Don't Care About Poor Black People”
 George Carlin - “I'm also tired of hearing about innocent victims this is an outmoded idea. There are no innocent victims. If you're born on this world you're guilt, period, fck you, end of report, next case. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt.”
 George Carlin - “I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam.”
 George Carlin - “I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.”
 Jay Carlin - “The first half, we played about three or four minutes of basketball. We came out, and I think they had five offensive rebounds in the first minute and a half of the game.”
 George Carlin - “Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror”
 George Carlin - “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
 George Carlin - “Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider”
 George Carlin - “I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.”
 George Carlin - “Without the laughs, the audience wouldnt be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian,”
 George Carlin - “Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.”
 George Carlin - “Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.”
 George Carlin - “Atheism is a non-prophet organization.”
 George Carlin - “Atheism is a non-prophet organization”
 George Carlin - “The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”
 George Carlin - “Who decides when the applause should die down It seems like it's a group decision everyone begins to say to themselves at the same time, Well, okay, that's enough of that.”
 Jim Carlin - “They need many people to go out and talk to these many witnesses, and when they go out and sit in that office and compare notes and look at evidence, they can come up with a suspect in this case and they can go to trial. I believe that now that we're at the second anniversary, if something isn't done in the next 30 to 60 days, this case will never be solved.”

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