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My Favorite Quotes

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 George Carlin - “I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good Amercian because I like to form my own opionions.”
 George Carlin - “You know the good part about all those executions in Texas Fewer Texans”
 George Carlin - “I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a part of hell will break loose - it'll be much harder to detect”
 George Carlin - “He appreciated its compounded vulgarity, ... It had that Peter Finch in 'Network,' 'I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore' quality.”
 George Carlin - “When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse”
 George Carlin - “Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist”
 George Carlin - “Life is a series of dogs”
 George Carlin - “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac”
 George Carlin - “A lot of times when a package says Open Other End, I purposely open the end where it says that”
 George Carlin - “By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth”
 George Carlin - “One thing i don't understand is sex is legal and selling things is legal but selling sex is illegal.”
 George Carlin - “If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little”
 George Carlin - “If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled”
 George Carlin - “Excuse me, officer, but would you mind bringing the wreckage a little closer this way My wife can't see”
 George Carlin - “The word bipartisan means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out”
 George Carlin - “If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work”
 George Carlin - “The bigger they are, the worse they smell”
 George Carlin - “Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.”
 George Carlin - “What are you going to do, play with your prick for another 20 to 30 years,Read People Magazine your whole life... Take a freakin' chance”
 George Carlin - “Most people with low self-esteem have earned it”
 George Carlin - “A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt”
 George Carlin - “He had a sort of pain that was fairly evident.”
 George Carlin - “Regarding the Boy Scouts, I'm very suspicious of any organization that has a handbook”
 George Carlin - “In labor news, longshoremen walked off the piers today rescue operations are continuing”
 George Carlin - “The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music”

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