My Favorite Quotes

Show Sarah Silverman - “I say 'I'm sorry.' It usually disarms them.”
Show Marilyn Monroe - “They've said I want to direct pictures. I couldn't direct traffic.”
Show Sarah Silverman - “This is crazy Donald. When I see the prices at the mall, I just want to vomit.”
Show Jason Kidd - “We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees - upon being drafted by the Dallas Mavericks”
Show Marilyn Monroe - “She Sadie Thompson was a girl who knew how to be gay even when she was sad. And that's important--you know”
Show Jack Handy - “If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.”
Show Bill Watterson - “The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink cow milk Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em - Calvin and Hobbes”
Show G. Wells - “Security puts a premium on feebleness.”
Show Mark Twain - “I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him.”
Show Patrick Moore - “At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual.”
Show Marilyn Monroe - “Fame is fickle and I know it. It has its compensations, but it also has its drawbacks and I've experienced them both.”
Show Stephen Wright - “If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it”
Show Gloria Vanderbilt - “That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.”
Show Monty Python - “It's funny, isn't it How your best friend can just blow up like that”
Show Sophie Marceau - “What's nice is that when you have to put a wig on, funny costumes, You know it's like being a little girl playing with accessories.”
Show Isabelle Huppert - “With theatre, I like to compare it to sculpture. It is a shape that you shape. I have this funny image in my head. You can extend it, reduce it.”
Show Charlotte Gainsbourg - “There was a scene where we were making love, but in a very trashy way, and it was supposed to be funny but I didn't feel it was funny.”
Show W. Somerset Maugham - “It's a funny thing about life if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it.”
Show Quentin Crisp - “Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave.”
Show Mick Ralphs - “The parrot's so funny. He imitates me and I don't even realize he's doing it. I'm walking around the house talking to myself and whistling and the next day he's said something I've said... it's scary you know”
Show Nick Lowe - “These days, rock 'n' roll is much more about rock than about roll. I don't do rock. But I'm interested in that roll part, because that's the funny little bit that makes it hip.”
Show Richard D. James - “It was funny but usually the holodeck sets were elaborate.”
Show Melanie Chisholm - “The funny thing about making this record and being away from the girls and on my own in LA is that it allowed me to reflect on how much we've accomplished.”
Show Kelly Osbourne - “It's funny that all these goths paint their faces with such white make-up and that is the actual colour of my skin, I am that pale”
Show Celia Johnson - “Don't remember me as too nice or beautiful or funny, because then you'll be disappointed.”

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