I want to be buried with Monkey. The thought of anybody else working with him would be too much.
You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.
With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.
We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases.
We all have days where we can't pronounce things or give it the emotion it deserves.
Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.
There's this idea that it has to be made in London. But we've got everything up here, and if you've got comics who are gifted because of where they're from, you shouldn't drag them away from that natural resource.
The fun is being able to have a show that you can do but then always being able to look out for that opportunity to do something different.
My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with.
My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don't ask what the part is, but what century it's in.
It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether.
If I see somebody visually challenged, I won't purposefully focus in on them unless they call me names, and then I'll call them back.
If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it.
I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.
I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.
I'm getting positive feedback for my acting so we'll see if any other interesting parts come up.
I use very few muscles at the best of times.
I get all kinds of ages, it really does range from silly drunk old men to silly drunk young lads. And the same goes for the females.
I always feel like an interloper when I do serious drama. It's my own paranoia.
I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again.
I actually enjoy being heckled it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show.
Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric
For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason.
Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.
There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out.