We had two rules growing up in my house If you're going to take a shower, do it with whomever you're dating so you don't waste water and if you buy one for yourself, buy six, because everybody's going to want one.
The idea of licking stamps seemed great fun for me.
My mother tells this story that when I first went to school, I thought I was going to help the teachers. I didn't realise I was going to get educated.
It occurred to me, when I was old enough to make rules of my own, that they should be fair and simple.
If there's anything more mortifying than being famous at 14, it's being washed up right after.
I've got a new relationship and I'm trapped in this old life.
I'm totally convinced I can write the perfect pop song.
I would think Stay close to the implants They must know something because they keep getting asked backstage
I think I have a dark view of the world. I have to make everything funny, otherwise it all seems so sad.
I spent most of my life locked in my bedroom, miserable about my raging acne.
I should just drive around this city and take photos of all the buildings I've been humiliated in.
I remember letting someone in the house who had a gun. And when I was about 10, letting someone else in who was just out of the insane asylum.
I peaked early. I was told I'd missed my boat.
I made enough money to buy a house. That's crazy, but fame proved ephemeral.
I like to think of myself as a New Yorker, which is pathetic.
I have a tree man coming to trim the jacaranda in my front garden.
I grew up with too much freedom. You can't define yourself.
I don't want to lose my name because that's how I know myself. There is a legacy here.
Gag me with a spoon
Every job I've ever gotten has been an accident. All the jobs I actually go after, I don't get.
Not many people know what their parents sound like having sex. It was noisy.
My parents were extremely generous. The people they would get to work for them might not have regular bathing habits, but they'd be good at wearing masking tape on their nipples.
My mother did literally hitchhike barefoot to the country store.
How strange, when your father's wearing women's clothes and platform shoes, that a pair of loafers looks incredible.
I had a friend whose family had dinner together. The mother would tuck you in at night and make breakfast in the morning. They even had a spare bike for a friend. It just seemed so amazing to me.