Ambrose Gwinett Bierce Quotes

JEALOUS, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping.

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INCOMPOSSIBLE, adj. Unable to exist if something else exists. Two things are incompossible when the world of being has scope enough for one of them, but not enough for both as Walt Whitman's poetry and God's mercy to man.

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IMPALE, v.t. In popular usage, to pierce with any weapon which remains fixed in the wound .... properly, to put to death by thrusting an upright sharp stake into the body, the victim being left in a sitting position.

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IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral.

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IMMODEST, adj. Having a strong sense of one's own merit, coupled with a feeble conception of worth in others.

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IMMIGRANT, n. An unenlightened person who thinks one country better than another.

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HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

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GUILLOTINE, n. A machine which makes a Frenchman shrug his shoulders with good reason.

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EXPOSTULATION, n. One of the many methods by which fools prefer to lose their friends.

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EXECUTIVE, n. An officer of the Government, whose duty it is to enforce the wishes of the legislative power until such time as the judicial department shall be pleased to pronounce them invalid and of no effect.

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ERUDITION, n. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.

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CONFIDANT, CONFIDANTE, n. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B, confided by 'him' to C.

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CLOSE-FISTED, adj. Unduly desirous of keeping that which many meritorious persons wish to obtain.

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