Artemus Ward

When a fellow says it ain't the money but the principle of the thing, it's the money.

I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

Why care for grammar as long as we are good

I'm not a politician and my other habits are good.

I am happiest when I am idle. I could live for months without performing any kind of labor, and at the expiration of that time I should feel fresh and vigorous enough to go right on in the same way for numerous more months.

Why is this thus What is the reason of this thusness

I prefer temperance hotels - although they sell worse kinds of liquor than any other kind of hotels.

Let us all be happy, and live within our means, even if we have to borrow the money to do it with.

It ain't so much what people don't know that hurts as what they know that ain't so.

Let us all be happy and live within our means, even if we have to borrow money to do it.

Let us all be happy, and live within our means, even if we have to barrow the money to do it with.