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My Favorite Quotes
Hits 26 to 50 of 135
 Erma Bombeck - “Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.”
 Erma Bombeck - “Everyone is guilty at one time or another of throwing out questions that beg to be ignored, but mothers seem to have a market on the supply. Do you want a spanking or do you want to go to bed Don't you want to save some of the pizza for your brother Wasn't there any change”
 Erma Bombeck - “Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.”
 Erma Bombeck - “I'm trying very hard to understand this generation. They have adjusted the timetable for childbearing so that menopause and teaching a sixteen-year-old how to drive a car will occur in the same week.”
 Erma Bombeck - “My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.”
 Erma Bombeck - “When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.”
 Erma Bombeck - “At some point in your life if you're lucky you throw practicality to the wind andstart living.”
 Erma Bombeck - “Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.”
 Erma Bombeck - “I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62 of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.”
 Erma Bombeck - “I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.”
 Erma Bombeck - “Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were buried with their spices. I know which one I'm taking with me when I go.”
 Erma Bombeck - “Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop If you have just answered, A house guest, you're wrong because I have just described my kids.”
 Erma Bombeck - “There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams. Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there.”
 Erma Bombeck - “There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.”
 Erma Bombeck - “When you're an orthodox worrier, some days are worse than others”
 Erma Bombeck - “As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.”
 Erma Bombeck - “As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.”
 Erma Bombeck - “Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone”
 Erma Bombeck - “Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, No, thank you, to dessert that night. And for what”
 Erma Bombeck - “There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.”
 Erma Bombeck - “I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in alphabetical order.”
 Erma Bombeck - “Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white Certainly not a mother.”
 Erma Bombeck - “Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.”
 Erma Bombeck - “No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.”
 Erma Bombeck - “Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.”

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