Dave Attell Quotes

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

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Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people the cops. But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice those kids gotta get to school

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What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat Chicken and fish. You know what you should do Combine them, eat a penguin.

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There's a late-night scene in every town, and everyone has something going on, ... I've heard good stories about (Syracuse) this is a very good party town, a good drinking place. I definitely would like to come back and check it out further. Do some more research, as I call it.

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Every eight minutes, someone has sex with an animal...and you wonder why the attack you. Because of that man, and its up to me and a half mexican to stop him

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Doesn't matter what you say or do people can always find a way to call you a dick.

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