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My Favorite Quotes
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 Dave Barry - “Talking about golf is always boring. (Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball only the part where you drive the cart.)”
 Dave Barry - “The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.”
 Dave Barry - “If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not suggesting for a moment that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland”
 Dave Barry - “We became pretty sensitive about it. We visited Great Ormond Street Hospital when we were in England to do research and we saw the tremendous need for funds.”
 Dave Barry - “Europeans, like some Americans, drive on the right side of the road, except in England, where they drive on both sides of the road Italy, where they drive on the sidewalk and France, where if necessary they will follow you right into the hotel lobby.”
 Dave Barry - “The greatest Electrical Pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison... Edison's first major invention, in 1877, was the phonograph, which could soon be found in thousands of American homes, where it basically sat until 1923, when the record was invented.”
 Dave Barry - “I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.”
 Dave Barry - “UNIVAC a device, which contained 20,000 vacuum tubes, occupied 1,500 square feet and weighed 40 tons there was also a laptop version weighing 27 tons.”
 Dave Barry - “The Internet transforming society and shaping the future through chat.”
 Dave Barry - “Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”
 Dave Barry - “It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”
 Dave Barry - “In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.”
 Dave Barry - “'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.”
 Dave Barry - “Hobbies of any kind are boring except to people who have the same hobby. This is also true of religion, although you will not find me saying so in print.”
 Dave Barry - “If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.”
 Dave Barry - “I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.”
 Dave Barry - “If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.”
 Dave Barry - “Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.”
 Dave Barry - “Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.”
 Dave Barry - “Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough.”
 Dave Barry - “For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.”
 Dave Barry - “The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.”
 Dave Barry - “Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent”
 Dave Barry - “Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.”
 Dave Barry - “American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.”

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