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David Letterman Quotes

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.

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For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

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Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

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The whole thing has made me dizzy. This has not been an easy decision.

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I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

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Sometimes something worth doing is worth overdoing.

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Items in President Clinton's Medical File 5. Soreness in lower back from years of flip-flopping.

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We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours.

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