Douglas Noel Adams Quotes

Oh freddled gruntbuggly Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop I implore thee My foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles. Or I will rend thee In the gobberwarts With my blurglecruncheon See if I don't

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To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity.

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He hoped and prayed that there wasnt an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasnt an afterlife.

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If on the other hand he went to pay his respects to The Door and it wasn't there ... what then The answer, of course, was very simple. He had a whole board of circuits for dealing with exactly this problem, in fact this was the very heart of his function. He would continue to believe in it whatever the facts turned out to be, what else was the meaning of Belief The Door would still be there, even if the Door was not.

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The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks dont.

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I dont believe it. Prove it to me and I still wont believe it.

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It's no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an airport' appear.

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Isnt it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe there are fairies at the bottom of it too

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Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word 'safe' that I wasn't previously aware of.

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Time, we know, is relative. You can travel light years through the stars and back, and if you do it at the speed of light then, when you return, you may have aged mere seconds while your twin brother or sister will have aged twenty, thirty, forty or however many years it is, depending on how far you traveled. This will come to you as a profound shock, particularly if you didnt know you had a twin brother or sister.

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I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

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Plenty of people did not care for him much, but then there is a huge difference between disliking somebody maybe even disliking them a lot and actually shooting them, strangling them, dragging them through the fields and setting their house on fire.

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This planet has or rather had a problem, which was this most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it was not the small pieces of paper that were unhappy.

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We all like to congregate at boundary conditions. Where land meets water. Where earth meets air. Where bodies meet mind. Where space meets time. We like to be on one side, and look at the other.

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A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

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First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure.

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A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about.

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He shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each.

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Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

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Numbers written on restaurant bills within the confines of restaurants do not follow the same mathematical laws as numbers written on any other pieces of paper in any other parts of the Universe. This single statement took the scientific world by storm. It completely revolutionized it. So many mathematical conferences got held in such good restaurants that many of the finest minds of a generation died of obesity and heart failure and the science of math was put back by years.

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For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen.

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If human beings dont keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favor of a new one. If they dont keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.

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Bistromathics itself is simply a revolutionary new way of understanding the behavior of numbers. Just as Einstein observed that space was not an absolute but depended on the observer's movement in space, and that time was not an absolute, but depended on the observer's movement in time, so it is now realized that numbers are not absolute, but depend on the observer's movement in restaurants.

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The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phase, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat the second by the question Why do we eat and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch

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Nothing travels faster than the speed of light except for bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

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