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Emo Philips Quotes

How many people here have telekenetic powers Raise my hand.

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Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

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My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

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I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.

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Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

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You know what I hate Indian givers... no, I take that back.

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The American government is making nuclear weapons like there's no tomorrow.

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Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.

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I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.

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My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

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I'm a great lover, I'll bet.

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I ran three miles today. Finally I said, Lady take your purse.

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He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.

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How many people here have telekinetic powers Raise my hand.

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Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy.

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I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.

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