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Fred A. Allen Quotes

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

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California is a great place to live if you're an orange.

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I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.

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All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

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My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.

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Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.

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Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.

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I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labotomy.

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My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

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If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.

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Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.

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