Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.
If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.
A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.
My uncle is a Southern planter. He's an undertaker in Alabama.
During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk today we have small men enjoying big talk.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done.
Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labotomy.
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.
Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for a star.
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
California is a great place to live if you're an orange.
A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 p.m. to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.
Picture Quotes to Inspire and Delight