Gary Apple Quotes

That's a very good question. See me at the break, and I'll avoid answering it then, too.

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Life is short to prove it, criminals sentenced to life get out in ten years.

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I'm way overdue for a promotion. I've made so many lateral moves, I'm beside myself.

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Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you get rid of him on weekends.

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You may not know this, but I'm an impressionist. Allow me to do my impression of a competent public speaker.

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Times are tough for everyone. A small Bible publishing company just filed Chapter 11, Verses 1 through 14.

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I'm fascinated by historical trivia. For example, George Washington had trouble flossing because his teeth kept catching fire.

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I'm not the man I used to be, so why should I have to pay off his debts

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Can you believe the weather we are having Cold, windy and damp ... And I hear outdoors it's even worse.

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Aladdin rubbed a lamp and a genie appeared. With my luck if I rubbed the lamp, I'd probably get an IRS auditor.

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