George Burns Quotes

George Burns George Burns
You've got to be honest if you can fake that, you've got it made.

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Dress simply. If you wear a dinner jacket, don't wear anything else on it ... like lunch or dinner.

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I was married by a judge. I should've asked for a jury.

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I'd rather be a failure in something that I love than a success in something that I hate.

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Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do.

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If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

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I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

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I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

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They notice, but they don't know what it is.

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We were what you call a disappointment act, ... If an act got sick, we'd take their place.

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With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.

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I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now I'm booked.

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You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

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I can't afford to die I'd lose too much money.

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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

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It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere.

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Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life.

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I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

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Retire I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.

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