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George Carlin Quotes

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

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May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

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He had a sort of pain that was fairly evident.

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I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity.

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The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

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The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.

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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

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If youaare reading it in a book, folks, it ainaat self-help. Itaas help.

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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

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The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

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You get to play with people's little danger zones.

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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled

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