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Lewis Grizzard Quotes

Life is like a dog sled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

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I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

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I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

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Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

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Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

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When My Love Comes Back from the Ladies' Room, Will I Be Too Old To Care

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If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About a Quart Low.

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