Mark Twain Quotes

Mark Twain

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.

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Man is the only animal that deals in that atrocity of atrocities, War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind. He is the only animal that for sordid wages will march out... and help to slaughter strangers of his own species who have done him no harm and with whom he has no quarrel... And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for 'the universal brotherhood of man' - with his mouth.

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It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.

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Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal... In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple things which other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning. Among my experiments was this. In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends. I put them in a cage. In another hour I taught them to be friends with a rabbit. In the course of two days I was able to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves. Finally a monkey. They lived together in peace even affectionately.

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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.

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All emotion is involuntary when genuine.

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It's better to stay silent and look a fool, rather than speak and remove all doubt.

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Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

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Each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak. And it is a solemn and weighty responsibility, and not lightly to be flung aside at the bullying of pulpit, press, government, or the empty catchphrases of politicians. Each must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, and which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your convictions is to be an unqualified and inexcusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let man label you as they may. If you alone of all the nation shall decide one way, and that way be the right way according to your convictions of the right, you have done your duty by yourself and by your country- hold up your head You have nothing to be ashamed of.

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In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made school boards.

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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

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Put all your eggs in one basket and then watch that basket.

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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

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Adam was but human--this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.

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Pray for me I reckoned if she knowed me she'd take a job that was more nearer her size. But I bet she done it, just the same--she was just that kind. She had the grit to pray for Judus if she took the notion--there warn't no back-down to her, I judge.

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Who is this Renaissance Where did he come from Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs

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Get you facts first, and then you can distort 'em as much as you please.

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If men bore children, there would only be one born in each family.

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You can't reason with the heart it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.

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Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.

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There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.

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If I cannot swear in heaven I shall not stay there.

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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.

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When it comes down to pure ornamental cursing, the native American is gifted above the sons of men.

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