Mark Twain

Hunger is the handmaid of genius

When it comes down to pure ornamental cursing, the native American is gifted above the sons of men.

The real yellow peril Gold

It usually takes me three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech

It is very wearing to be good

It's good sportsmanship not to pick up lost balls while they are still rolling

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them

It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy

Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates

Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough.

Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it

...It is hard to overestimate how far a man can go in America if he looks good on a horse.

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government and the sure and gradual deterioration of the public morals

No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave

I was sorry to have my name mentioned among the great authors because they have a sad habit of dying off

In religion and politics people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue but have taken them at second-hand from other

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination

Happiness is a Swedish sunset it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it

Civilizations proceed from the heart rather than from the head.

You can't reason with the heart it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns.

It's spring fever.... You don't quite know what it is you DO want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so

There is no humor in heaven.

The dog is a gentleman I hope to go to his heaven, not man's

Let us swear while we may, for in heaven it will not be allowed

If I cannot swear in heaven I shall not stay there.