Mark Twain Quotes

Mark Twain

It's better to stay silent and look a fool, rather than speak and remove all doubt.

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It is not best that we all should think alike, it is differences of opinion that make horse races.

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I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.

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Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest.

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Now he found out a new thing--namely, that to promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.

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Always obey your parents - when they are present.

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Seasickness at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.

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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anyone.

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Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, And Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.

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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

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He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it--namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.

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Be good and you will be lonely.

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The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.

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It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

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Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal... In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple things which other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning. Among my experiments was this. In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends. I put them in a cage. In another hour I taught them to be friends with a rabbit. In the course of two days I was able to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves. Finally a monkey. They lived together in peace even affectionately.

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...It is hard to overestimate how far a man can go in America if he looks good on a horse.

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You can go to heaven if you want. I'd rather stay in Bermuda.

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We can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you.

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How empty is theory in presence of fact

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The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves.

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Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.

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Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

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I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way.

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To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler and less trouble.

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Fame is a vapor popularity an accident the only earthly certainty is oblivion.

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