P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

There's no telling what might have happened to our defense budget if Saddam Hussein hadn't invaded Kuwait that August and set everyone gearing up for World War II. Can we count on Saddam Hussein to come along every year and resolve our defense-policy debates Given the history of the Middle East, it's possible.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Nothing bad is going to happen to us. If we get fired, it's not failure its a midlife vocational reassessment.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

In the end we beat them with Levi 501 jeans. Seventy-two years of Communist indoctrination and propaganda was drowned out by a three-ounce Sony Walkman. A huge totalitarian system has been brought to its knees because nobody wants to wear Bulgarian shoes. Now they're lunch, and we're number one on the planet.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Our democracy, our culture, our whole way of life is a spectacular triumph of the blah. Why not have a political convention without politics to nominate a leader who's out in front of nobody Maybe our national mindlessness is the very thing that keeps us from turning into one of those smelly European countries full of pseudo-reds and crypto-fascists and greens who dress like forest elves.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

There's something about Marxism that brings out warts the only kind of growth this economic system encourages.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I am a journalist and, under the modern journalist's code of Olympian objectivity (and total purity of motive), I am absolved of responsibility. We journalists don't have to step on roaches. All we have to do is turn on the kitchen light and watch the critters scurry.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history mankind has been bullied by scum. Those who lord it over their fellows and toss commands in every direction and would boss the grass in the meadow about which way to bend in the wind are the most depraved kind of prostitutes. They will submit to any indignity, perform any vile act, do anything to achieve power. The worst off-sloughings of the planet are the ingredients of sovereignty. Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

There's one more terrifying fact about old people I'm going to be one soon.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Marijuana is self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive, and in this world, what worse punishment could there be

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Maybe a nation that consumes as much booze and dope as we do and has our kind of divorce statistics should pipe down about ''character issues.'' Either that or just go ahead and determine the presidency with three-legged races and pie-eating contests. It would make better TV.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

The principle feature of American liberalism is sanctimoniousness. By loudly denouncing all bad things -- war and hunger and date rape -- liberals testify to their own terrific goodness. More important, they promote themselves to membership in a self-selecting elite of those who care deeply about such things. It's a kind of natural aristocracy, and the wonderful thing about this aristocracy is that you don't have to be brave, smart, strong or even lucky to join it, you just have to be liberal.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

It's easy to understand why the cat has eclipsed the dog as modern America's favorite pet. People like pets to possess the same qualities they do. Cats are irresponsible and recognize no authority, yet are completely dependent on others for their material needs. Cats cannot be made to do anything useful. Cats are mean for the fun of it.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or fear to grow old. After 215 years of trying, we have finally discovered a special interest that includes 100 percent of the population. Now we can vote ourselves rich.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Remember when what is now called publicity was called public shame and humiliation

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes