Robin Williams

They tell me now that SpongeBob is gay. SquarePants is not gay. Tight pants maybe. SpongeBob Hot Pants You go, girl

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.

If you masturbated with your left hand, would it be like being touched by a retarded person

The brightest light has gone out. We will forever celebrate her loving spirit.

The brightest light has gone out.

But only in their dreams can men be truly free It was always thus and always thus will be.

Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT

He went from looking like a Greek god to becoming Buddha quiet, contained, but so powerful, ... And he's such a fighter. I thought, 'He's going to the hospital, he'll be OK, he'll come out.'

When exactly did Ted Kennedy become Jabba the Hutt He's not a macy's day float Bring him down it's time for elections

Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time...

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material

I was hoping for the fallout of girls that would go for him. I was kind of his fool. We went through the same wild times in New York, hitting everything. Massive p hunt.

It felt wonderful doing it. But that's rather like urinating in brown velvet pants. It can feel wonderful, but no one will watch.

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.

We wanted a name that was fun and different and something people would remember. Foundation board member Betty McCain suggested Winter Solstice, and we went with that.

I still think Nancy does most of his talking you'll notice that she never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

You'll notice that Bush never speaks when Cheiney is drinking water, check that shit out.

Gay robbers came in last night and rearranged the living room

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist.

I'm looking for Miss Right, or at least, Miss Right Now

We men are driven to meet Miss Right . . . or at least Miss Right Now.

When the media ask him George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline'

Politics Poli a Latin word meaning many and tics meaning bloodsucking creatures.

You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.'