Sandra Bernhard Quotes

Barbara Bush has her finger on the pulse of America. I'm so glad she's back and more compassionate than ever, ... That's right, of course people just sat around New Orleans, boring, uninspired, soulless New Orleans, and dreamed of someday relocating to the Astrodome. 'Oh, dear lord, if only I could leave my unhappy existence and head on up to wonderful Houston and live with my friends side by side in a spacious football stadium, my life would be so much richer and complete.'

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I like the energy of live performance.

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I think everybody is covering their posteriors with the Enron scandal and it was very convenient that Sept. 11 came along to deflect the fact that they should never have been in the White House in the first place. What happened in the election was completely corrupt.

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I'm very much a humanist. I'm very much pro-choice. I'm very much politically correct.

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When you're watching the news, how many days in a row can you watch that and feel good about yourself and the world

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When people pay to see you live, they connect with you on a much deeper level than people who just buy your records.

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I'm studying Kabbalah, which is really the essence of Jewish spirituality.

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I think I've drawn from some of the most feminine women, like Jackie Kennedy. I am totally devastated that she's gone. She had it all.

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I've become this sort of icon for the gay community. I don't like the position.

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Madonna's got one big choice. Take a couple of years off and become a human being.

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I don't like surgery. I don't like elective surgery, I don't like surgery that you have to have.

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Gayness is a non-issue.

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Smut, if it's really smut, there's nothing backing it up. It's the easy way out.

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I'm trying to appeal to the disenfranchised everybody, not just specifically gay.

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Anything that has cynicism to it and that's jaded is smutty.

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I don't believe in karma.

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I'm very much an optimist. I don't think I could do my work if I didn't believe there was some kind of hope for humanity.

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I'm sure that Jesus was an incredible person.

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I really have a problem with any kind of drug, I always have.

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Everybody has their own way of tapping into their realness.

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There are few performers who would have had the audacity to even bring up the fact that they had been poorly reviewed.

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I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming.

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I really, really love Hilary Clinton. I think she's very cool. She's out there and she's involved.

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I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

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On one side you have book burners, Congressional wives and Pat Robertson. On the other side, you have vulgar comedians, foul-mouthed rap groups and Dennis Hopper--all your choices should be so easy.

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