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Stephen Wright Quotes

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks

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I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

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So, do you live around here often

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It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

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Either outfit is going to have a pretty weak coalition.

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George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.

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Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

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I went to a cafe that advertised breakfast anytime, so I ordered French Toast during the Rennaisance.

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I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

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Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I may have forgotten this before.

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I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

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I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

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My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.

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I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

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The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

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If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer

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