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Tim Vine Quotes

You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

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I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy.

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Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds.

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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought he's trying to pull a fast one'.

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I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

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