Will Rogers

Gentlemen, you have just been listening to that Chinese sage, On Too long

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson

We don't give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give 'em plenty of publicity.

Wrigley was the first man to discover that American jaws must wag so why not give them something to wag against.

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

An economist is a man that can tell you . . . what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

Political elections are a good deal like marriages, there's no accounting for anyone's taste

The good old horse-and-buggy days then you lived until you died and not until you were just run over.

As bad as we sometimes think our government is run, it is the best run I ever saw.

You must judge a man's greatness by how much he will be missed.

You should never try and teach a pig to read for two reasons. First, it's impossible and secondly, it annoys the hell out of the pig

There comes Coolidge and does nothing and retires a hero, not only because he hadn't done anything, but because he had done it better than anyone

Playing the hero is the shortes career you can have

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die. Prolonged life has ruined more men than it ever made.

History doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes.

Horsemanship through the history of all nations has been considered one of the highest accomplishments. You can't pass a park without seeing a statue of some old codger on a horse.

You can be killed just as dead in an unjustified war as you can in one protecting your own home.

I am a Cherokee and it's the proudest little possession I ever hope to have.

There is something about riding down the street on a prancing horse that makes you feel like something, even when you ain't a thing.

You never saw a good horse grow where a good man couldn't.

In a real estate man's eye, the most expensive part of the city is where he has a house to sell

When they do nothing, they don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous.

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income.

Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches