Will Rogers

We don't give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give 'em plenty of publicity.

Wrigley was the first man to discover that American jaws must wag so why not give them something to wag against.

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

An economist is a man that can tell you . . . what can happen under any given condition, and his guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's too.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

The good old horse-and-buggy days then you lived until you died and not until you were just run over.

As bad as we sometimes think our government is run, it is the best run I ever saw.

You must judge a man's greatness by how much he will be missed.

You should never try and teach a pig to read for two reasons. First, it's impossible and secondly, it annoys the hell out of the pig

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die. Prolonged life has ruined more men than it ever made.

History doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes.

Horsemanship through the history of all nations has been considered one of the highest accomplishments. You can't pass a park without seeing a statue of some old codger on a horse.

You can be killed just as dead in an unjustified war as you can in one protecting your own home.

I am a Cherokee and it's the proudest little possession I ever hope to have.

There is something about riding down the street on a prancing horse that makes you feel like something, even when you ain't a thing.

You never saw a good horse grow where a good man couldn't.

When they do nothing, they don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous.

There is no income tax in Russia. But there's no income.

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.

One revolution is like one cocktail, it just gets you organized for the next.

I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his money.

Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with.

Things will get better -- despite our efforts to improve them.

When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.