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Wilson Mizner Quotes

Gambling The sure way of getting nothing for something.

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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.

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Why should I talk to you I've just been talking to your boss.

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The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.

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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time.

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Copy from one, it's plagiarism copy from two, it's research.

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Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

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When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism but when you take it from many writers, it's research.

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Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor unassisted.

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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

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God help those who do not help themselves.

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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.

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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.

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Failure has gone to his head.

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When you take stuff from one author, it's plagiarism if you take it from many writers, it's research.

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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

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You sparkle with larceny.

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A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

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Always be nice to people on the way up because you'll meet the same people on the way down.

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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.

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The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.

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