Comedian Quotes

Comedian

Things really began to move for us. In 1953 I could afford to marry Doreen.

- Ernie Wise Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

- Emo Philips Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.

- Emo Philips Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Nobody is more truthful when he's acting than De Niro.

- Billy Crystal Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

But generally speaking, I tend to be quiet and introspective.

- Rowan Atkinson Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

- Phyllis Diller Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

You know what I hate Indian givers... no, I take that back.

- Emo Philips Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

- David Letterman Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

To bring up a child in the way he should go - travel that way yourself.

- Josh Billings Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

- Josh Billings Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

- Fred Allen Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.

- Jimmy Fallon Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

- Groucho Marx Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

- Groucho Marx Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.

- Groucho Marx Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by four o'clock this afternoon.

- Henry Youngman Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

My family is very theatrical.

- Debra Wilson Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

England is better only because I stand out there as 'unusual'.

- Emo Philips Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes