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Comedian Quotes

Comedian

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

How many people here have telekenetic powers Raise my hand.

- Emo Philips Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

- George Carlin Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

- P. J. O'Rourke Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer.

- Chris Farley Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Nobody is more truthful when he's acting than De Niro.

- Billy Crystal Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I started a big part of my career in Vegas.

- Louie Anderson Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

- George Burns Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Here lies W. C. Fields. I would rather be living in Philadelphia.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

- Lenny Bruce Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all.

- Don Adams Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

- Groucho Marx Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

To bring up a child in the way he should go - travel that way yourself.

- Josh Billings Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I'm always willing to endure humiliation on behalf of my characters.

- Ben Stiller Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

That's the thing about jazz it's free flowing, it comes from your soul.

- Billy Crystal Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

- Fred Allen Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes