Comedian Quotes

Comedian

You've got to be honest if you can fake that, you've got it made.

- George Burns Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee. Unfortunately, she was just coming home.

- Rodney Dangerfield Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

How many people here have telekenetic powers Raise my hand.

- Emo Philips Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

- Emo Philips Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.

- Phyllis Diller Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Sometimes I wonder how I got into comedy at all.

- Don Adams Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.

- Phyllis Diller Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.

- Norman Wisdom Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Maxwell is serious, dedicated, awkward, forgetful, pompous to a certain degree, sentimental.

- Don Adams Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

- Fred Allen Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I like getting married, but I don't like being married.

- Don Adams Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.

- Phyllis Diller Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

- Billy Crystal Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

- Emo Philips Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I like going into nature and that's where I'm happiest.

- Garry Shandling Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes