Loading...

Comedian Quotes

Comedian

Set up another case bartender The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I'm free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey Death, where is thy sting

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I think, over the years, I've kind of evolved.

- Carrot Top Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

You've got to be honest if you can fake that, you've got it made.

- George Burns Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

- Fred Allen Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.

- W. C. Fields Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

- Emo Philips Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

Maxwell is serious, dedicated, awkward, forgetful, pompous to a certain degree, sentimental.

- Don Adams Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I like getting married, but I don't like being married.

- Don Adams Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes

I've got one idea I want to do for a film and you know I just enjoy myself doing bits and pieces.

- Norman Wisdom Visit FamousQuotes.com for more inspirational quotes