Pedigree, n. The known part of the route from an arboreal ancestor with a swim bladder to an urban descendant with a cigarette.
Ambrose Bierce Quotes
Genealogy, n. An account of one’s descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.
Ramshackle, adj. Pertaining to a certain order of architecture, otherwise known as the Normal American. Most of the public buildings of the United States are of the Ramshackle order, though some of our earlier architects preferred the Ironic.
Un-American, adj. Wicked, intolerable, heathenish.
Ambition, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
Exile, n. One who serves his country by residing abroad, yet is not an ambassador.
Alone, adj. In bad company.
Alliance, n.: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pocket that they cannot separately plunder a third.
Nectar, n. A drink served at banquets of the Olympian deities. The secret of its preparation is lost, but the modern Kentuckians believe that they come pretty near to a knowledge of its chief ingredient.
Rum: n. Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.
