Who needs friends when you can sit alone in your room and drink?

I’m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am.

It’s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

Alcohol preserves everything except secrets.

Remember I before E, except in Budweiser.

A bartender is a temporary pharmacist with a limited inventory.

And God said, ‘Let there be vodka!’ And He saw that it was good. Then God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And then He said, ‘Whoa – too much light’.

A soft drink turneth away company.

Starkle, starkle, little twink, Who the hell you are, I think. I’m not under the affluence of incohol, Like some tinkle peep I are.