A bartender is a temporary pharmacist with a limited inventory.

And God said, ‘Let there be vodka!’ And He saw that it was good. Then God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And then He said, ‘Whoa – too much light’.

A soft drink turneth away company.

Starkle, starkle, little twink, Who the hell you are, I think. I’m not under the affluence of incohol, Like some tinkle peep I are.

Everybody should believe in something – I believe I’ll have another drink.

Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

God made wine for great and small. Small fools drink too much. Great fools drink none at all!

Drink and drive. We need the business. (on a tow truck)

If you drink enough wine, it doesn’t matter how bad it is.

There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.