The best way to lose weight is to eat all you want of everything you don’t like.

Food has replaced sex in my life, now I can’t even get into my own pants.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Many a person who goes on a diet finds out in short order that they are poor losers.

Americans have more food to eat than any other people and more diets to keep them from eating it.

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets.

Steak’s expensive, spaghetti’s expansive.