Clive James Quotes

A luxury liner is really just a bad play surrounded by water. It is a means of inducing hatred for your fellow men by trapping you in a confined space with too few of them to provide variety and too many to allow solitude.

In his quieter moments he sounds like his trousers are on fire.

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

Disco dancing is just the steady thump of a giant moron knocking in an endless nail.

Muggeridge is hard to admire, but he somehow ends up cherishable, like an old boiler that doesn’t heat the water, but wins your heart by the way it goes boink-boink in the night.