Emo Philips Quotes

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.

My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee – the natural enemy of a tightrope walker.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don’t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.