George S. Kaufman Quotes

A real New Yorker is someone who thinks that if you live anywhere else, you’re just kidding.

I’d bet on George (Gershwin) any time in a hundred yard dash to the piano.

This is the way God would do it if He only had money. (describing Moss Hart’s home)

The kind of doctor I want is one who, when he’s not examining me, is home studying medicine.

I saw the show under unfortunate circumstances: the curtain was up.

When I was born, I owed twelve dollars.

I like your bald head Marc. It feels just like my wife’s behind. Marc Connolly (feeling his head): So it does, George, so it does.

Maybe we should invite the audience to rehearsals. (on a joke in a play that tickled the production crew but always died in performance.)