Herb Caen Quotes

I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there.

The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.

Whatever became of Strange de Jim? Well, he found a substitute for cocaine: “You cover Q-tips with sandpaper and ram them up your nostrils as far as they will go. Then you sniff talcum powder while shredding hundred dollar bills.”

Late one Christmas day a resident of the posh community of Hillsborough, California accompanied by his wife and children, set out to sing carols for the neighbors. As they were tuning up outside their first stop, the woman of the house came to the door, looking distraught. “Look, fella,” she said, “I’m just too busy. […]

The trouble with born again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.

Isn’t it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live there?

The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.

Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a lion or a gazelle; when the […]