I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible.
"Maxine" cartoon, John Wagner Quotes
Life is like an oven. It burns my buns.
My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice.
Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita.
Why do bad things happen to good people? Because they get in my way.
I can’t use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.”