Neil Simon Quotes

Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we’ll get some fluid and embalm each other.

You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a mater of fact, it was my SAT Scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.

When it’s five below in New York, it’s 78 in Los Angeles. When its 110 degrees in New York, it’s 78 in Los Angeles. There are 2 million interesting people in New York, and only 78 in Los Angeles.