A true gentleman is a man who knows how to play the bagpipes – but doesn’t.
I understand that the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never quite equaled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.
Is it not strange that sheep’s guts should hale souls out of men’s bodies? (Much Ado About Nothing)