A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.
You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a mater of fact, it was my SAT Scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.
B. S. means bull shit, M. S. is more shit, Ph. D is piled higher and deeper.
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can’t imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world.
At commencement you wear your square-shaped mortarboards. My hope is that from time to time you will let your minds be bold, and wear sombreros.
Just about a month from now I’m set adrift, with a diploma for a sail and lots of nerve for oars.
The sheepskin conferred on a student by a college hardly compensates for the human hide that will be knocked off him later in the school of experience.
Education is not a product: mark, diploma, job, money in that order; it is a process, a never ending one.
Psychology: A diversion for the rich, a palliative for the poor, and a boon to the furniture industry. To the sex connotation of the common couch it has added the luster of a college diploma.