agnes smedley

Like all my family and class, I considered it a sign of weakness to show affection to have been caught kissing my mother would have been a disgrace, and to have shown affection for my father would have been a disaster.

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I have written for years of the Red Army, yet my first living contact with it was with these peasants. They did not understand me.

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So I had to be the doctor to these wounded men until we could remove them to the hospital. There were fifty-four women and forty little boys with the Red Army prisoners, and I went daily to take care of them also.

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No one yet knows what a man's province is, and how far that province, as conceived of today, is artificial.

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I have lived in the homes of workers they live on boiled potatoes, black bread with lard spread on it instead of butter, and rotten beer.

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For months it seemed that a revolution was certain. But instead, slavery seems more likely now. The working class no longer has the physical resistance for a revolution, and the Entente is too strong, and Russia is too weak.

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Now and then some Party member would announce a study circle, and I would join it, along with some ten or twelve working men and women.

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Thousands of women are crushed and made inarticulate by that system and never develop as their natures would force them to develop were they in a decent environment.

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Now, being a girl, I was ashamed of my body and my lack of strength. So I tried to be a man. I shot, rode, jumped, and took part in all the fights of the boys.

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My mother listened to all the news from the camp during the strike. She said little, especially when my father or the men who worked for him were about I remember her instinctive and unhesitating sympathy for the miners.

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Germany is in terrible condition this year. This is particularly true of the working masses, who are so undernourished that tuberculosis is having a rich harvest, particularly of adolescent children.

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In one hotel, the maid who built the fire fainted in our room. Exhaustion was the cause. We talked with her later and learned that she worked 17 hours a day and makes 95 marks a month - about 50 cents.

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But he like my mother, had certainly come to know that those who work the most do not make the most money. It was the fault of the rich, it seemed, but just how he did not know.

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But I see no reason why a woman should not grow and develop in all those outlets which are suited to her nature, it matters not at all what they may be.

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I joined another circle and the leader gave us a little leaflet in very small print, asking us to read it carefully and then come prepared to ask questions. It was a technical Marxist subject and I did not understand it nor did I know what questions to ask.

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And the woman who could win the respect of man was often the woman who could knock him down with her bare fists and sit on him until he yelled for help.

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Everybody calls everybody a spy, secretly, in Russia, and everybody is under surveillance. You never feel safe.

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For the first week of the Sian events I was a first aid worker in the streets of Sian.

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Gambling in the mark has been the great indoor sport of the capitalists for months, and consequently food has increased by 25 to 100 per cent.

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I feel like a person living on the brink of a volcano crater.

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I hate female men.

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I have no objection to a man being a man, however masculine that may be.

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In the little hall leading to it was a rack holding various Socialist or radical newspapers, tracts, and pamphlets in very small print and on very bad paper. The subjects treated were technical Marxist theories.

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More and more do I see that only a successful revolution in India can break England's back forever and free Europe itself. It is not a national question concerning India any longer it is purely international.

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Much that we read of Russia is imagination and desire only.

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