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george carlin Quotes

george carlin

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.

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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

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One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.

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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

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Religion is just mind control.

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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

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When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot's hands.

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You know the good part about all those executions in Texas Fewer Texans.

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You get to play with people's little danger zones.

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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

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They call it the 'American Dream' because you have to be asleep to believe it.

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When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say

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He had a sort of pain that was fairly evident.

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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled

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One thing i don't understand is sex is legal and selling things is legal but selling sex is illegal.

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