To the Church I once went, but I grieved and I sorrowed; for the season was Lent, and the sermon as borrowed.

The difference between going to church and a baseball game is that at church, you sing out “Stand Up for Jesus,” while at a baseball game you shout “Siddown, for Chrissakes!”

The building of a “skyscraper church” would seem to be a move in the right direction.

There are ten church members by inheritance for every one by conviction.

“Attend your Church,” the parson cries: To church each fair one goes; The old go there to close their eyes, The young to eye their clothes.

This is God’s House; but ’tis to be deplored, more come to see the house than serve its Lord.