You know you’re getting old when you look at a beautiful 19-year-old girl and you find yourself thinking, ‘Gee, I wonder what her mother looks like’.

You are only young once, but if you use your time right, once is enough.

Only the good die young, which explains the average age of Congressmen.

Aging is a process by which you become more like everyone else and less like yourself.

Middle age is when you’re old enough to know better but still young enough to do it.

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Hardening of the heart ages people more quickly than hardening of the arteries.

You know you’re getting older when your knees buckle, but your belt won’t.

Old age may seem a long way off. But on the day it doesn’t, it will be too late to do anything about it.