You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight saving time.
Dave Barry Quotes
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said “Cigarettes contain fat.”
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Reporter: Senator, are you for or against the MX missile system? Senator: Bob, the MX missile system reminds me of an old saying that the country folk in my state like to say. It goes like this: “You can carry a pig for six miles, but if you set it down it might run away.” […]
What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a ‘modem’, can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo.
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers. But most people agree on what is funny, and most people like to be around a person with a great sense of humor, provided he also […]
The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the next six thousand years, to even things up. The trouble is that men, over the years, have developed an inflated notion of the importance of everything they do, so that before long they would turn housework […]
We stayed at Caesar’s Palace, a giant hotel-casino authentically decorated to look exactly the way the Roman Empire would have looked if it had consisted mainly of slot machines.