Erma Bombeck Quotes

Thanksgiving dinners take 18 hours to prepare. They are consumed in 12 minutes. Half-times take 12 minutes. This is not a coincidence.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

Skiing: I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.

A child develops individuality long before he discovers taste.

When humor goes, there goes civilization.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first – hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Housework can kill you if done right.

The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I’ve ever seen that I didn’t have to clean.

My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one cares. Why should you?

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You’re not out of it until the computer says you’re out of it.