Fred Allen Quotes

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.

What’s on your mind? If you’ll forgive the overstatement.

He’s so small, he’s a waste of skin.

He was so narrow minded that if he fell on a pin it would blind him in both eyes.

If I could get my membership fee back, I’d resign from the human race.

When you get through all the phony tinsel of Hollywood, you find the genuine tinsel underneath.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood and place it in the navel of a fruit fly, and still have room left for three caraway seeds and an agent’s heart.

Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission.