Garrison Keillor Quotes

Powdermilk biscuits: Heavens, they’re tasty and expeditious! They’re made from whole wheat, to give shy persons the strength to get up and do what needs to be done.

Republicans might be heathens and out to destroy all that we hold dear, but that doesn’t mean we need to take them seriously. Or be bitter or vituperative just because they are swine. I think one can still have friends who are Republicans.

Denmark is no vacation paradise. It is cold and rainy and dark except for June and July, when it’s extremely expensive.

Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either.

It (The New York Times) reads like it was edited by two elderly sociologists, one of whom has been dead for many years.

If you depend on the news for your worldview, friends, you’re in a sad place.

A marriage, to be happy, needs an exterior threat. New York provides that threat.

Never insult a writer. You may find yourself immortalized in ways you may not appreciate.

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

For fear of what it might do to me, you never paid a compliment, and when other people did, you beat it away from me with a stick. ‘He certainly is looking nice and grown up.’ He’d look a lot nicer if he did something about his skin. ‘That’s wonderful that he got that job.’ […]